Autobiography
Well to start of my name is Santos Chavarria but most of my
friends and family call me by my middle name Andrew. I am 18 years old fresh
out of S.T.A.R. high school @ Erasmus in Brooklyn and now starting my first
year at LaGuardia Community College. I plan to transfer to John Jay to pursue
my goal in criminal justice to become an FBI even though my mother like most
parents wanted me to become a doctor or lawyer but I told her I wanted to be an
FBI agent.
I am Honduran,
favorite color is green and a only child of only my mother never knew my
father. I play pretty much play any sport mostly baseball and if I don’t know
how to play a sport you can always teach me I am a quick learner. I like to
have fun so I go with the flow with pretty much anything that comes up. I am a
recently licensed Security Guard so I will be busy most of the time but I will
try to find time to have some fun because that’s what I think life is all about
especially being as young as I am and knowing I’m only getting older and won’t
be able to change my child hood.
My favorite
Baseball team are the Yankees because I remember when I was 6 years old I went
to my first baseball game at the old Yankee stadium and it was a great
experience and how I got into baseball. I fell in love with the game I started
to play baseball all the time after that. I haven’t played much now but
hopefully next year when LaGuardia starts to make sport teams they will have a
baseball team and I sure will try out for that.
Hello Santos =)!! First off very interesting essay I enjoy reading it and I got a pretty good idea about what you’re talking about from the first paragraph. This was a good start!! Your essay had a lot of information about what you were talking about. However your conclusion was kind of short. Whenever you’re writing an essay the last paragraph is basically bringing the first paragraph back into the wrap up. But good Try! You should have fully let the reader know what exactly you’re going to talk about. You have a title which was a plus I love the way you used your quotations and the difference from a question and a statement. I like how you add in the years of each thing that happen your letting the reader get exact information about when it happen, and what time of the year it all happen. Adding info is pretty important you can never get too much of information about something. You had 5 paragraphs which is the perfect amount for writing an essay that’s pretty good. Some people write 4 I think sticking to 5 is a pretty good idea. I must say at the end of your essay I knew what your point was even though you had your main idea way before. If you had to change one thing I would have said include your own info meaning your thoughts of it, just to make it a little more interesting.
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